Christmas Blues: how to deal with the melancholic side of Christmas and a particular form of depression

By Cristiano Antonino On Dec 22, 2022

Christmas festivities can cause a form of depression called Christmas Blues. The 8 tips for dealing with the sadness and melancholy of Christmas

The phenomenon that Americans call Christmas Blues, or Christmas depression, is becoming more and more widespread and well-known.

Because of its atmosphere, Christmas has always been considered the most magical time of the year: decorated trees, coloured lights, laid tables, traditional melodies, presents to put under the tree.

All this magic generates feelings of joy and merriment in most people: a true festive mood.

Unfortunately, however, not everyone experiences Christmas this way.

The Christmas Blues phenomenon

The term Christmas Blues refers to a kind of Christmas depression, a state in which joy and wonderment give way to sadness and melancholy, which manifest themselves already during the preparations and generally disappear at the end of the festivities.

In the society in which we live, we are obliged to be merry: Christmas is associated with ‘having to be happy’, having a united family, as well as ‘having to look our best’.

These are all conditions that imply a sense of obligation and compulsion that can generate in some people

states of anxiety;
states of depression;
strong sense of frustration related to feeling ‘inadequate’ or different from ordinary people.

Christmas Blues and ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’: are they the same thing?

The symptomatology of Christmas depression is not very different from that of seasonal depression, which coincides with the autumn-winter period and is referred to in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) as ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’.

However, some differences should be highlighted.

In both cases, the symptoms affect the:

emotional sphere with sadness, states of persistent melancholy, loneliness, anxiety, but also anger and easy irritability;
cognitive sphere with concentration problems, negative and intrusive thoughts.

At the behavioural level, these symptoms translate into a form of social isolation, which leads to the renunciation of convivial moments and to a form of apathy, fatigue that discourages the purchase of gifts or outings in general.

From a physiological point of view, sleep and nutrition also suffer imbalances and alterations.

The causes of the Christmas Blues

Although there are similarities, unlike ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’, Christmas depression is closely linked to and confined to the Christmas festive period and tends to disappear with the end of the festive season.

The latter, in fact, involve elements that potentially trigger a sad mood:

dinners with relatives and convivial occasions that reactivate unresolved conflict dynamics
gifts to give that can generate anxiety about not finding the perfect present or anxiety about spending too much;
reduction of work commitments that generate free time and thus greater contact with oneself, one’s thoughts or negative emotional experiences that are often masked and suffocated by daily routine.

It is a time of emotional, personal, economic and planning balances and, often, if expectations are not met, these balances can turn into frustration at not being able to achieve one’s goals and for this reason one feels ‘wrong’.

Moreover, for those who have recently experienced a bereavement, this free time echoes an emptiness that generates a sense of loneliness and deep nostalgia.

Christmas Blues, 8 tips for coping with the Christmas blues

To best cope with the Christmas Blues, a few small, effective strategies are needed:

first of all, it is important to welcome and accept what you feel and how you are in the present moment, allowing yourself to accept the sadness, dissatisfaction and disappointment, without wanting to change at all costs or be someone else. It is important to start with oneself and focus on what one has and is.
In this new perspective, it is useful to start seeing and valuing things, even small things, to which one attaches positive meaning. Even sadness, if listened to, can have a profound meaning that can help one evolve and renew oneself. Begin, therefore, to abandon ideal expectations and make them more realistic, true and self-consistent.
To feel one’s needs and indulge them, such as the need to rest and not wanting to go out at all costs.
For the stress of the shopping rush, it can be helpful to organise oneself in good time and plan one’s expenses by setting a ‘budget’.
For social occasions, including dinners with relatives, one can participate by setting limits, however, and say ‘no’ to invitations that we know could cause discontent and stress.

Another effective strategy is to take care of oneself by engaging in:

enjoyable activities;
maintaining a healthy lifestyle, taking care of your diet, exercise, sleep, your body;
buying a gift for yourself, instead of waiting for it.

To loosen the ‘brooding’ of negative thoughts, one must learn to bring attention to the ‘here and now’, with activities that stimulate the 5 senses, such as

taking a nice walk and enjoying the view;
smelling the smells and scents of places;
listening to the sound of melodies;
eating foods you like.

In addition, given more free time, it can be useful to identify routines.

The watchword becomes, therefore, to eliminate expectations, that is, to learn to accept oneself, in the good and the bad, thus accepting to experience Christmas as one can and not as one must.

Perhaps in this way it will be possible to enjoy even small moments without necessarily having to give up Christmas celebrations.